What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been
by GreyRENThead
Summary: Tampons, condoms, chocolate, and elevators. A lot can happen when four interns, a resident, and two attendings have time to talk. Cowritten with supershipper. MerDer, BurkTina, CaGe. Read and review!
1. Three, Derek!

**Co-Written with _SuperShipper. _This is the result of two friends with WAY too much time on their hands. We hope you like it! Review and we'll love you _forever._  
**

**Summary: _Tampons, condoms, chocolate and elevators. A lot can happen when 4 interns, a resident, and 2 attendings have time to talk.  
_**

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One morning, while Meredith and Derek were kissing in the hallway of Meredith's house for reasons unknown to anyone, Izzie stalked down the hall and shouted "Derek! I need tampons!!!" 

Derek, in awe of what his girlfriend's roommate had just shouted to him, broke the kiss and gave Meredith a confused look.

"Tampons, Mer. Tampons? I don't do tampons. Condoms, sure. Glow in the dark condoms, definitely. But not tampons," he said frantically. "Why on earth would she ask me to get tampons? Doesn't she have any?"

"If she's saying she needs them, we probably don't have any. You have four sisters; they never made you buy tampons?" she asked, running her fingers through his dark curly hair. "And George usually bought the tampons for us."

Derek laughed. "George? Tampons? No way," he said. "And you know what? I have no comment about the whole sister thing. I've spent years ridding my memory of the awful things they did to me, and I'm not about to try to remember for you," he said, a smile forming on his face.

Meredith grinned, "You know that makes me want to know what they did now, right?"

"Seriously, Derek. We have, like, three left!" Izzie called from the bathroom, "THREE!!"

"I'm sure Mark or Addison would tell me these awful things you sisters did to you."

"Oh, don't you dare. I swear, Meredith, if you go behind my back and ask them, I'll...I'll..."

"You'll what?" Meredith questioned.

He laughed and kissed her gently on the lips. "I don't know. But you know I'll think of something."

"Two," Izzie screamed. "Now we only have two left!"

"Oh, I so didn't need to know that," Derek said, running his hands through his hair.

"You'd better go, Derek. She's even bitchier at this time of the month. Pissing her off would be like pissing Cristina off, and you know _never_ to piss Cristina off," Meredith told him.

"Oh, I have _seriously_ learned never to piss off Cristina. But why do I have to go by myself to buy them? Can't you come too?"

"I suppose I could come too," Meredith replied.

"George didn't need girls to go with him!" Izzie called.

Meredith laughed. "She's right, Derek. George was a _man_ and went by himself. But, I guess I'll go with you since you're too scared to go by yourself..."

"No, I'm not! I can do it, Mer. I can go by myself," he told her, confidence present in his voice.

Meredith smiled. "Good, so while you're there, you can go grocery shopping, too. Here's the list. And make sure you get a lot of tampons, 'cause I'm getting my period later this week. Thanks, honey," she said, kissing him on the cheek and walking back into their bedroom. Derek was left alone in the hallway, with a shopping list in his hands, and a look of confusion and embarrassment that washed over his face.

Derek got over the shock and got dressed. He grabbed his keys, making his way to the grocery store. He pushed his cart through the store, grabbing the items that were on the list, leaving the dreaded tampons for last. He turned onto the aisle where he would get the tampons and ran into George.

"Oh, hi, uh, Dr. Shepherd," George said.

"Hi, George, call me Derek," he replied, "So...what are you doing here?"

"Callie sent me to get some...things. What about you?"

"Mer and Izzie are making me buy…tampons," he replied, the last word a whisper.

George leaned in, and said, "Me too! She told me that if I could buy them for Izzie, I better damn well be able to buy them for her. But there're so many to choose from! What do I buy?"

Derek looked at the list Meredith and Izzie had written up. "Well, Meredith and Izzie want," he pointed to a box, "this one. But they didn't give me the specifics so I don't know what exactly to get them. And God knows that if I come home with the wrong kind, they'll murder me and make it look like an accident."

"When they had me buy them they made me buy these ones," George told him, pointing to the box a few to the left.

"Really? Are you sure?" Derek asked.

"What are you two doing?" Addison asked from behind them causing the two to jump.

"Addison!" Derek exclaimed, turning around to face her.

"Dr. Montgomery!" said George at the same time. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

Addison looked at the two with an amused look on her face. "I'm here to buy tampons and it looks like the two of you are as well..."

"Yeah, well, Callie wanted me to buy her tampons, 'cause, you know, they're not for me or anything. And I don't like doing this but she's my wife and she told me to and..."

"George!" Addison exclaimed.

He snapped his head up upon hearing his name. "Wh..what?"

Addison smiled. "You're rambling. And I kind of figured you were buying them for Callie. It's not like you need them."

Derek proceeded to crack up, laughing hysterically.

Burke cautiously approached the trio, his list in hand. George noticed him first and desperately needed to get the attention off himself.

"Oh it's Dr. Burke. Hi, Dr. Burke. How are you?"

"I'm doing well, O'Malley. How are all of you?" Burke asked, not addressing the awkwardness of meeting in the tampon aisle.

They all said they were fine then Addison asked, "Is Cristina making you buy tampons as well?"

"She is. She said that if Shepherd and O'Malley could, then I could too," He explained, "But I'm not sure which to get."

"Join the club," Derek replied.

Addison realized that if she and Mark got back together, she could make him buy tampons for her. She reached out and picked up a box, not believing she was going to tell three of the men she worked with the type of tampons she used even if one was her ex-husband. "Well I think these ones are the best, but you might want to check with the girls before you buy anything."

"Seriously? You want me to call Izzie and Meredith and ask them what kind of, um, products they use? Yeah, that's not at all embarrassing," Derek asked Addison.

"Relax, Derek. It's not that big of a deal for girls to talk about their period or tampons. See, I'm talking about it now. Tampons. We have your extra-absorbent, juniors, light flow, Pearl...you want it, they've got it," Addison said, pointing to various boxes, unaware of the fact that Burke, Derek, and George were staring at her, their mouths hanging wide open in disbelief.

"Oh, you did not just say that, Addison," Bailey said, pushing her cart through the line of three men. "Have some self respect, woman!"

At the sight of Bailey, Derek groaned softly, George looked around nervously, and Burke cleared his throat a little.

"Obviously Addison did not make you buy tampons for her when you two were married, Shepherd," Bailey said.

"No, Bailey. But my sisters did and..." he trailed off so that he didn't have to think about it, "but Izzie and Meredith said I had to go, and Izzie started yelling, so I thought it would be best."

"Well you're not too stupid," she replied then scanned the faces of the three men looking cluelessly at the shelves containing hundreds of boxes of tampons. She decided to help them this once, "Okay, since you are all obviously helpless," she picked up a box and gave it to Burke, "Yang will like these," she picked up a different box and thrust it into George's arms, "Torres probably uses these," and she picked up two more boxes and handed them to Derek, "Stevens and Grey should be happy with these. Remember what they are; you will be sent to get them again." With that, she grabbed the type she used and went on her way, grumbling about men and their stupidity.

Derek groaned again. "That did _not_ just happen. Tell me that did not just happen. Tell me that I did not get tampon advice from _Bailey_."

Addison burst out laughing. "I _so_ wish I had made you buy me tampons when we were married."

"Well, there was that one time..."

"Mark!" Addison exclaimed as she turned around to face him. "What're _you_ doing here?"

"Oh, you know, just browsing," he said nonchalantly.

"In the tampon aisle. You browse in the tampon aisle," Derek said, monotonously. "You really have no life, you know that?"

"You're buying tampons for your girlfriend and her roommate," he threw back. "Hey O'Malley, Dr. Burke."

"Hi Dr. Sloan - oh god," he looked at his watch, "I really need to go..." he scurried off with his cart.

"Why are you browsing in the tampon aisle?" Addison asked, a hand on her hip.

He shrugged, "I was browsing all around, but I saw all of you down here and I thought I'd see what everyone was doing. I'm just glad I don't have to try and figure out what kind of tampons to buy."

Just then, Derek's cell phone rang. He saw it was Izzie and grudgingly answered. "Hi, Izzie."

"ONE! We have one! Mer's period was early and now we have one and you are _not_ back!" She ranted, "One, Derek!"

Derek hung up the phone, laughing a bit to himself.

"What's so funny?" Mark asked.

"Mer's period was early and we only have one..." Derek said, the last few words mere mumbles as he realized what he was saying.

Burke snickered at his friend while Addison and Mark had to hold onto each other to keep from falling down, their laughter fiercely shaking their bodies.

"Well, enjoy, you guys. It was a pleasure shopping with you, really," Burke said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "I've got to get back to Cristina. I'll see you all later. Goodbye!"

"Bye," the trio said.

Derek turned around to face Addison and Mark. "Not a word tomorrow, you hear?"

Addison and Mark crossed their fingers behind their backs. "Sure thing, Derek," Addison said.

There was an awkward silence between the group, and Mark, always being the one to break the ice, spoke first. "You realize that when we get to work tomorrow, we'll have two residents and three interns, you know...with their little friend," he stated, placing the word 'friend' in air quotes.

Addison started to laugh nervously. "Make that two residents, three interns, and one attending."

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-GreyRENThead and SuperShipper **


	2. Chocolate Bliss

**Wow! Thanks to everyone for all the great reviews! We're so glad you're enjoying this so far! Hope you like this chapter, too!  
-GreyRENThead and SuperShipper **

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**The Next Day  
**  
Meredith, Izzie and Cristina were sitting on the gurneys in the basement hallway, eating a couple chocolate bars and drinking water.

"I'm in love with whoever invented chocolate," Cristina moaned, taking a bite of her candy bar.

"Seriously!" Meredith agreed.

Izzie just nodded, eating more of her chocolate.

Addison suddenly came out of what seemed like nowhere and sat next to Meredith.

"Um, hi," Meredith greeted. Derek had told her all about his shopping expedition, "How are you?"

"I need chocolate," Addison replied.

"That can be arranged," Meredith said, digging in her lab coat pocket and taking out handfuls of mini chocolate bars. "Take your pick."

Addison took a seat next to Meredith and fished a Hershey's Extra Dark chocolate bar out of the bunch. Opening the wrapper, she placed the chocolate on her tongue and fell in love with its bitter, yet succulent taste.

"Is it sad that I think I'm falling in love with this here piece of chocolate? Because, seriously, I could marry it right here, right now," Addison said.

"I hear ya," Izzie said, taking a huge bite of her chocolate bar. "This is like sex."

"It's better than sex," Cristina said.

"What's better than sex?" Meredith questioned.

Cristina looked at her friend with a priceless look. "This," she said, pointing to the heaping pile of chocolate.

Meredith put another piece of the sweet, wonderfully tasty chocolate in her mouth before deciding if it was better than sex. "It's definitely better than counter sex but not nearly as good as bendy shower sex," she decided.

"Ok, that's too much information about your sex life," Cristina told her, covering her ears.

Addison raised an eyebrow. "I never had really good bendy shower sex."

Izzie groaned. Addison was seriously contributing to this conversation?

"Have you ever had sex on a hammock?" Meredith asked, taking a sip of her water.

"That's possible?!" Addison exclaimed, taking another piece of chocolate from the small pile between her and Meredith.

Meredith nodded, "But you have to be really careful."

"I can imagine," Addison replied. "Derek was always game for interesting sex, that's for sure."

"Seriously? You're talking to McDreamy's ex-wife about his and your sex life? You've got to be kidding me," Cristina groaned. "C'mon, Barbie, let's leave before we start losing IQ points."

Izzie, not even hearing what Cristina said, opened another chocolate bar and took a big bite.

"Seriously? You're not coming?" Cristina wondered as she stared at the blonde, waiting for a reaction. "Fine, but if I start getting dumber, I'm blaming it on you."

Izzie looked up and said, "Yeah, sure, whatever."

While Addison and Meredith spoke animatedly about their sex escapades with Derek, Callie walked up to the group.

"Please tell me you have chocolate," she begged.

Izzie, who still didn't like that George and Callie were married, was _so_ not sharing her better than sex chocolate with Callie.

"We have a lot of chocolate," Cristina answered. "Please, please talk to those two," she motioned to Meredith and Addison, "so that they will stop comparing sex notes on McDreamy. With the bendy and the shower and the hammock. _Please make it stop_."

Callie sat next to Addison, grabbing a few chocolates from between the two women.

"I am seriously going to kill Sydney. She's everywhere today and perky and I'm considering taking a scalpel and murdering her _right now_," Callie told them.

"Do you remember when she was our resident while Bailey was on leave?" Meredith asked.

Izzie nodded. "Those were good times."

"Really? What'd you do?" Callie asked, intrigued by the thought of having blackmail on Sydney.

Izzie, being stubborn as she is, looked away from Callie, refusing to answer the question.

Callie sighed, and turned to face Cristina, Meredith, and Addison.

"Okay, since _Blondie_ won't talk to me, would you mind telling me what you did to her?" Callie asked.

Cristina smiled. "You know, I think I like you a little bit more right now."

"Tell me already," Callie said getting more excited about this.

"We made her life hell," Cristina supplied.

Addison laughed, "Bailey's interns are going to be infamous. With Meredith almost dying twice, O'Malley getting syphilis, Stevens and Denny, she and Yang doing an unauthorized autopsy, Karev mouthing off, all five of them creating chaos whenever possible."

"We like to keep things interesting," Meredith told her. "Sydney was way too perky and happy."

"She was Meredith's bright and shiny times twenty," Izzie added. "Mer bright and shiny alone is reason enough to hate someone, but Sydney and her 'Oh! Heal with hugs!' and 'Let's talk about everything'. God!"

"It's nice to see you've joined the conversation, Barbie," Cristina commented.

Izzie gave Cristina a stern look as she went back to devouring her chocolate.

"Hey, my bright and shiny wasn't _that_ bad," Meredith said. "Was it?"

"_Yes_," Cristina, Addison, Callie, and Izzie said. Meredith's face went from confused to embarrassed in a matter of seconds.

"Honestly, Mer, if you're gonna be happy like that from now on, give us a day's notice, will ya? It's bad enough I have to watch you and McDreamy practically grope each other twenty-four/seven. It'd be nice to have some warning," Cristina told her.

"You are _extra_ bitchy today, aren't you?" Callie wondered.

"No, this is pretty normal," Meredith offered. "And Cristina, I'm sorry if Derek and I are more...affectionate in public than you are Burke are. Nothing I can do to stop that."

"For one, you can stop the freakin' public displays of affection! Seriously, it's like you're undressing each other with your eyes every time you see one another. Just...learn some self control," she replied.

"Seriously," Izzie agreed, "You're like all with the eye sex, Mer."

"We are not!" Meredith tried protesting.

Addison took a bite of some chocolate, "We were never like that. Mark and I were but Derek and I weren't. I mean, we had pretty good sex but Mark and I...it was really, really good. And loud..."

Izzie groaned. "Don't get me started on Meredith and loud. They kept George and I up all night. All night!"

"I'm so glad I don't live in that nut house," Cristina laughed.

"How loud?" Callie inquired with a raised eyebrow.

Izzie forgot about not talking to her for the moment and replied, "Screaming orgasm loud."

"Wow," Addison replied in awe. "All the time?"

"All the time what?" Derek asked, coming around the corner.

Meredith groaned as she saw Derek approach the girls.

"Screaming orgasms, Derek? You two must be good," Addison replied.

Derek started to laugh nervously. "Uh, Meredith, tell me she did not just say that. I'm dreaming. This is just a dream."

Meredith joined the nervous laughter. "Uh, yeah she did. I've decided to be the nice girlfriend and let you handle this one. I'll be right back," she said, as she grabbed a tampon from the bag behind her.

Derek started to back away from the group, but the girls just wouldn't have it.

"Oh, no, McDreamy, you're not getting away that easy," Callie said.

"So," Izzie said, looking at him like she wanted him to elaborate.

"What?!" He exclaimed. "I am not discussing my sex life with you. Any of you!"

Callie got up in his face and stared him down. Derek looked at her, getting a bit more scared then shook his head.

"That works for most things but not this!"

Meredith came back five minutes later to see the girls and Derek sitting on the gurneys. And for some reason they were talking about condoms. Addison was now sitting on a gurney with Izzie and Cristina and Derek was sitting where Addison was next to Callie. She took her seat again and unwrapped another little chocolate.

"I don't think the ribbed ones are all that impressive," Callie shared. "Some of them are really, really nice but..."

"I know what you mean," Izzie agreed, apparently talking to Callie now, "The cheap ones kind of suck."

"What about the colored ones?" Cristina asked.

"I like those," Addison replied. "I'm not sure why, exactly. They're just fun."

"Derek really likes the glow in the dark condoms," Meredith chuckled.

The girls laughed and Addison looked over at him, "Seriously, Derek? Glow in the dark?"

"Meredith!" Derek replied, exasperated.

"What? It's true! You weren't refusing to talk about them last night, remember?" Meredith replied, her voice getting deeper as she continued to speak.

"Meredith!" he replied, a bit louder this time. Cristina, Izzie, Addison, and Callie laughed while Meredith tried to hide the smile that was forming on her face.

"Oh, so McDreamy does the _McNasty_ with glow in the dark condoms. Interesting. Makes for some great gossip, doesn't it?"

Derek turned around and came face to face with Mark.

"You wouldn't _dare_, Mark."

"I wouldn't be talking Mark. What color did you use?" Addison asked. "Oh yes. It was pink."

Mark looked at Addison, shocked that she said that. The others laughed.

"I didn't even look at the color!" he tried defending himself.

"You did too! You picked it out!" Addison shot back, laughing.

Cristina was so amused, "McSteamy and the pink condoms or McDreamy and the glow in the dark."

"I don't let him use the glow in the dark," Meredith spoke up, "if I can help it."

The group was interrupted from their laugh-fest from the booming voice of Miranda Bailey.

"What are you all doing down here? I can see that it isn't work! This is a hospital, people, and you are doctors! Get to work!"

They all scurried to the elevator and Bailey headed to their abandoned pile of chocolate, smiling to herself. The group got into the elevator and Meredith and Addison were standing in the back. Derek was in front of and to the right of Meredith and he reached back and took her hand.

"I had a good time, Meredith," Addison told her with a smile. "I'm glad we all talked."

"Me too," Meredith replied, lacing her fingers with Derek's, "And I might try that thing you suggested."

Addison giggled. "Oh, please do. It's definitely worth it."

Derek turned around to face Meredith and Addison. "What exactly did you suggest to her?"

"Remember our, uh, five year anniversary. You know, when we went to Hawaii. That _thing _we did, with the..." Addison began before Derek cut her off.

"_Yes, _Addison, I remember. No need to tell the whole world."

Mark looked up. "Oh, come on, we won't tell. Spill it, you guys."

"You know, you're one to talk. If anyone, I'd blame you for gossiping," Derek said.

"Wait, Derek, Mark, already knows," Addison chimed in.

"I do?" Mark asked, a smile forming on his face.

"Oh, well in that case, why don't you try it out with Mark?" Meredith quietly suggested to Addison.

"Oh, God. What did I do to get stuck in this conversation?" Derek asked aloud as he began to hit the back of his head on the wall.

"You came to the basement for some reason," Cristina reminded him.

"Mark has ten more days of no sex before I think about doing anything with him," Addison replied to Meredith. "I told him that if he didn't have sex with anyone for sixty days, then I would consider a relationship with him."

"Oh, no manwhoring for Mark," Izzie laughed.

Derek stopped hitting his head, "Mark isn't manwhoring? Seriously?"

Mark nodded sadly.

"Impressive," Derek chuckled.

"Why did the elevator stop moving?" Callie asked.

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	3. What Did You Do!

**Seriously, you guys are the best. All the reviews? Amazing. Thanks so much for sharing your opinions on the story! It's always well appreciated! Here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!**

**-GreyRENThead and SuperShipper**

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Everyone looked at Derek. "What did you do?" Meredith asked. 

"Nothing! Why does everyone look at me when the elevator gets broken?" Derek replied.

"Because you're usually the one who breaks it," Addison said, matter-of-factly.

Meredith smirked along with Callie.

"Hey, remember when the elevator got stuck and I did open heart surgery on that police officer? That wasn't Dr. Shepherd's fault," George said.

"You rocked that heart, George," Izzie said with a smile as she sunk down to the ground.

"Does anyone have a cell phone? Because if I miss a hot surgery because of this God forsaken elevator, I swear, I'll kill you all," Cristina said, joining Izzie on the floor.

Derek smiled nervously since most of the group was still staring at him, and Meredith said, "Derek, she's not kidding. So wipe that grin off your face and figure out how to get us out of here."

"Why do I have to figure out how to fix the elevator?" He asked, no longer grinning. "I'm a surgeon! And when did George get here?" He pressed the stop button and pulled it out again to no avail.

"I've been here the whole time. No one cared enough to acknowledge my existence," George answered as he checked his phone. "Does anyone else have a phone that works? I'm not getting a signal."

Sitting in the elevator, the others checked their phones. Each didn't have a signal. "I have one bar," Callie told them, "But that's just enough for a text message."

"Try Alex," Addison suggested.

Meredith nodded, "That's a good idea. Alex is in the pit today."

"What's his number?" Callie asked.

Izzie looked through her phone book and gave Callie the number. Callie sent Alex a text telling him they were stuck in the elevator.

Alex quickly sent a text message back. It read: HAHA SUCKS FOR YOU. I'LL TELL THE CHIEF AND SEE WHAT HE CAN DO. MCDREAMY WITH YOU? CUZ, YA KNOW, HE'S THE KING OF BREAKING ELEVATORS.

Callie read the text message aloud, and everyone laughed except Derek.

"You know, I'm surprised Alex is being helpful. He's usually just a pain in the ass. I was half expecting him to not do anything at all," Izzie confessed.

"He's not half bad, Dr. Stevens. He's really decent person, and you'd see that if you gave him a chance," Addison quipped.

Everyone turned to face Addison, whose face began to turn redder and redder.

Meredith, sitting between Derek and Addison, asked, "Did you and Alex...?"

"No!" Addison answered, shaking her head, "But he was on my service for a while and I got to know him."

"Yeah, he can be nice sometimes," Meredith agreed.

"I have never broken an elevator before," Derek said - really thinking out loud, "Why does everything think I break elevators? I enjoy being with Meredith in elevators..."

Meredith giggled remembering the first time they were in an elevator together.

"Oh, I said that out loud," he mumbled causing the others to laugh too.

Izzie, who had been thinking for a minute suddenly spoke up, "Too bad there isn't a tampon fairy."

Cristina looked at Izzie, a quizzical look on her face. "You know, this would where I whip out my giant poster that says 'What the Fuck, Izzie?'"

Meredith looked up at the blonde. "I'm with her on this one, Iz," she said, pointing to Cristina. "That was strange. Even for you."

Callie stood there for a moment, as if she was contemplating something in her head. "You know what? That's an excellent thought."

Izzie smiled, and began a long, and quite interesting, conversation with Callie about the wonder that would be the Tampon Fairy.

George sat in the corner playing with his cell phone, Cristina tapped her nails against the railing, and Addison was left alone with her thoughts.

Derek, who had been quiet for quite some time, finally spoke up. "If the tampon fairy were real, what the hell would it do? Place tampons under your pillow?" he asked, "'Cause that's just stupid."

This earned him an evil glare from every single woman in the elevator, and when he realized he was seriously outnumbered, he joined George in the corner and played with his own phone.

The girls were talking about random things, Izzie and Callie developed the tampon fairy even more, and George and Derek played with their phones. Meredith groaned and put her head on Derek's shoulder.

"Does anyone have any pain killers on them?" she asked.

Callie pulled a small bottle of Motrin out of her lab coat pocket and tossed it to Meredith. "Here you go, Grey."

"Thanks," she replied. "Does anyone have any water?"

Cristina handed over her half empty bottle of water and Meredith took three Motrin.

"Can I have some of your Motrin, too, Callie?" Addison asked.

Callie nodded. "Sure."

"What's going on?" Derek asked in a whisper to George.

George looked up at Derek. "What do you mean 'what's going on'?"

"You know, with all the Motrin and the sudden mood swings and the evil glares and the sudden interest in the...tampon fairy?" Derek questioned. This earned him said evil glare from Meredith.

"Oh, that? It's normal," George reassured him. "Wait...didn't you have four sisters? They didn't get like this when they, you know, had their...?"

Derek gave him a quizzical look. "Honestly? I don't remember. I stayed as far away as possible from my sisters at all times."

George smirked, and suddenly, Meredith doubled over in pain, clutching her stomach.

Derek looked alarmed. "Hey, what's wrong, Mer?" he asked as he began to rub her back.

Meredith groaned, but never said anything coherent.

"Cramps," Addison said. "They get worse before they get better."

"Seriously, Shepherd, how do you not know about this?" Cristina asked. "You have sisters and you used to be married. How?"

"I just said, I hid from my sisters. They were evil and I am the youngest and a boy..." he told them. He watched Meredith as she lay down curled up with her knees close to her chest and put her head in his lap. "And Addison never talked about her...thing."

"I don't get cramps," Cristina bragged.

"I hate you," Meredith grumbled. "It wouldn't be so bad if I was moving around."

"How do you not get cramps?" Izzie asked. "That's just not fair."

Addison, being the specialist she was, told them, "It's very rare but there are some women who don't get menstrual cramps."

Callie looked up. "Really? That's so not fair. If I wasn't drugged up on Motrin right now, I'd be in the same position Meredith's in. I get killer cramps."

Cristina laughed. "Once again, cramp free."

Izzie gave her the evil eye. "Shut up. I _really _don't like you right now," she said as she rubbed her head.

Derek looked over a George. "Do you have a spoon by any chance?"

"Um, no. Why? Do you have food?!"

"No, but I'm seriously considering digging myself out of here."

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	4. I Am The Tampon Fairy

**So sorry I haven't updated in, what was it? Two days? I had a Sweet 16 party on friday night right after work and then another last night, which means there was no time to update! But, on another note, WOW! These reviews are amazing! I love you all soooo much right now! And I'm so glad to see that you're enjoying this so far! Hope you like this chapter!  
**

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**Ten Minutes Later**

The doors of the elevator began to open a bit. Bailey stuck her head through the hole and said, "What did you do?"

The entire elevator replied, "Nothing!"

She singled Derek and George out. "What did you two do?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" Derek said, exasperated.

"Dr...Dr. Bailey. I didn't...well, you know...I didn't _break_ the elevator. It just got stuck. It _always_ gets stuck. And just because I'm always on it when it get stuck doesn't mean-" George began.

"For the love of God, shut up, Bambi!" Cristina cried.

"What's wrong with Grey?" Bailey asked, seeing her curled up on the floor and Derek who was slowly running his fingers through her hair.

"Cramps," everyone replied at once.

Bailey nodded. "Well the maintenance guys are working on fixing the elevator to get you fools out and it shouldn't be long. Does anyone need anything?"

"Morphine," Meredith replied.

"Besides drugs?" Bailey asked.

George looked up; he had been playing on his phone. "Dr. Shepherd wanted a spoon."

"Do I even want to know why?" Bailey asked.

Derek looked up at her. "Probably not."

"Okay, then. You should be out of here soon," Bailey said as she started to get up.

"Wait! Dr. Bailey!" Izzie cried.

"What?" she said.

"Do you think you could bring us some chocolate?"

"I am a doctor, Stevens. A _doctor_. I don't mosey around the hospital in search of chocolate for my starved little intern. You'll be out soon; you'll survive without it," Bailey told her.

"Hey, that's not fair! You asked if we needed anything!" Izzie shot back.

"Yeah, I did. I meant within reason. The vending machine is on the other side of the hospital and these short little legs don't feel like walking that far, you hear?" Bailey said to the blonde.

Izzie thought for a moment. "You ate it all, didn't you?"

"Ate what?" Bailey asked, pretending not to know what they were talking about.

"Our chocolate," Meredith answered, "that was sitting on the gurneys."

"You left it there," Bailey told them.

"Because you ran us off," Cristina shot back, angry that they didn't have any chocolate.

Bailey shrugged. "You can get more. You'll be out soon." And with that she left.

Because of her lack of chocolate, Izzie began to hallucinate. She found that a short little flying fairy was buzzing around the elevator. She had pink and purple wings and a magic wand.

"Who are you?" Izzie asked.

"I am the tampon fairy."

Izzie's eyes lit up. "Really? Oh, thank God. We've been cooped up in that elevator for God knows how long, and I _really_ needed you."

The tampon fairy smiled. "Glad to be of assistance," she said as she handed her a basket of 'goodies'.

"Thanks!" Izzie said, watching the fairy vanish before her eyes. "Hey!," she said. "Wait!"

She was gone.

* * *

Everyone that was stuck in the elevator was huddling over Izzie's dazed form, waiting for her to snap out of her daydream.

Her eyes fluttered and she was fully awake, taken aback by the mass of people standing before her.

"What the hell? Why are you all standing over me?" she asked.

"You've been spaced out for the past, oh, twenty minutes," Callie said, looking at the clock on her cell phone.

"Really?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah, and you were mumbling something about a tampon fairy," Cristina said. "Are you hallucinating or something? 'Cause if you are, let me in on it."

Meredith and George snickered.

"Funny," Izzie said. "But I'm serious. I must have been dreaming about this tampon fairy. Callie, you and I were talking about it for hours. And then she showed up and brought me this cute little basket full of tampons."

"Oh, I _so_ didn't need to hear that," George said, retreating back to his spot in the corner next to Derek.

Izzie laughed. "It's true. She had this adorable little outfit. It was purple and pink and she had this tiny little magic wand. If only she was real."

All the girls started cracking up at her, but as soon as they heard Bailey's voice, they quieted down.

"_ I'm _the tampon fairy. I'm _small_ and_ colorful_ and I bring _baskets _to all my poor little interns," Bailey said. "We're trying to be doctors, here. Quit yappin' and we'll get you out of there sooner," she said as she threw a spoon to Derek. "Figured you might need this, with all the estrogen and crabbiness."

"Would it be wrong to say 'I love you'?" Derek asked.

"Yes," Bailey replied. "Now just...do whatever you were going to do with that spoon."

"Right..." he said, not sure he should try - with all the estrogen and crabbiness.

"I want something salty," Addison said suddenly.

Meredith looked at her, "So do I. Pretzels or crackers would be really nice."

"I still want chocolate," Izzie pouted, "but Bailey ate it all."

"I want some beer because you all are pissing me off," Cristina added, pulling out her phone.

"I also want sex," Meredith announced for some reason.

"We're gonna have to wait for that," Derek replied.

Then for some reason, probably because George was being really random today, he said "Did you know you shouldn't take Viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain?"

This statement, earning silence and a look on confusion from the rest of the group, caused George's face to turn beet red.

"And you know this because...?" Callie wondered.

"Why couldn't I be stuck in this elevator with _normal_ people?" Cristina cried at the same time that Callie asked George.

"No. No! I don't take...those. Well, yeah...no. I don't. So stop thinking that 'cause you know it's not true," George said, stumbling over his words.

Meredith giggled. "Okay, George, but it's your own fault you said it. Now we're concocting hundreds of embarrassing questions to ask you."

"You know, I think the more important thing to be discussed is how Izzie knows that Bailey ate all the chocolate. She was spaced out, wasn't she?"

"She could have heard us talking and integrated it into her dream," Derek told them.

"Maybe that's how he was a sex machine," Izzie wondered aloud.

"I just heard it on a commercial!" he insisted. "And when you said you wanted to have... to have sex, Meredith, I remembered it!"

"O'Malley, you should be happy Karev isn't here," Addison told him.

George's eyes got huge, "No one can tell him!" George exclaimed.

Cristina looked up from her phone, "Oh...I just texted him."

"First of all, I hate you. Second of all, YOU HAVE SERVICE?" George asked furiously.

"Yeah, I have ser...oh, wait. I lied. It's gone," Cristina said.

Callie smiled. "I have service. I'll just text him again," she said, pressing the buttons on her phone speedily. "Sent."

"Is everyone against me today?" George asked. "Even my own wife?"

Callie laughed. "I'm not against you, it's just funny to see you get frustrated."

"I'm glad my misery amuses you. All of you," George said. He looked over a Derek. "Give me that spoon," he said, taking it out of Derek's hands.

"Oh, look! He texted back!" Callie said, opening up her phone.

George groaned, hitting himself on the head with the spoon.

Cristina peered over at Callie's phone and laughed.

"What does it say?" Meredith asked.

"It says 'BAMBI SAID THAT? AND YOU'RE TELLING ME, CALLIE O'MALLEY? I'LL JUST TELL OLIVIA HERE TO SPREAD IT AROUND'."

They all laughed except George who groaned again.

"I forgot how much fun I had when I was an intern," Addison said.

Derek laughed. "Yeah, me too. You, me, and Mark all tormenting each other."

"Ooh, tell us some stories," Callie said.

"Seriously? You really want to hear?" Addison asked.

"Yes!" everyone shouted.

"Anything to shut Bambi up," Cristina commented.

"I'm not even saying anything!" George cried.

"You're sulking in the corner and it's pissing me off."

"Okay, now that that's over, let's hear some stories," Izzie said.

"Oh, God. Where to begin?" Derek wondered.

* * *

**Oh, the stories they'll tell. Review and we'll get the next chapter up ASAP! Thanks!**


	5. Storytime With Addison and Derek

**THIS IS IT! THE LAST CHAPTER! **

**Sorry about the wait for this, everyone. The alerts were down, as you know, and we wanted everyone to read this chapter since it _is_ the last one. We're really sad to see this end, but you'll be happy to know that there's going to be a sequel posted soon. It's not finished, but it's started. Thank you to everyone who read this and reviewed! You guys rock! We're still amazed with the amount of people who absolutely love the story! **

**Anyways, look out for the sequel, coming soon. _Supershipper _will most likely be posting it, so keep an eye out! **

**Much love,  
_GreyRENThead_ and _Supershipper_**

* * *

"Well, there were only four in our group. Jason Weider was the fourth and I was the only girl. Our resident was a male too - Dr. Penn. We weren't nearly as crazy as you five are and no one was sleeping with attendings or marrying residents or like Karev, but Mark and Derek got in trouble a lot," Addison told them. 

"Ok, firstly, Mark got me into trouble, and second, don't make it sound like you were an angel. Whose idea was it to tape gauze all over Penn when he was asleep?" Derek asked.

Addison laughed, "Yes, but who followed through on it?"

"You made me!" He exclaimed, his voice getting a little higher.

"How?" Callie asked.

Derek didn't answer but looked at the doors as they became very interesting at that time.

Addison chuckled, "The same way I'm sure Meredith gets him to do stuff."

"You withheld sex," Meredith stated with a smile.

Addison smiled. "I did."

"Smart woman," Meredith commented. "Sad thing is that it works. Seamlessly."

Derek looked embarrassed. "Shut up. Both of you."

"What?" Addison asked. "It's true!"

Frustrated, Derek said, "Whatever. Look, I have lots of dirt on you, too, Addie, so I'd shut my mouth if I were you."

"I'm not the one who ran naked through the dorm hallways with Mark at med school!" Addison shot back.

"Hey! That was_ Mark's _idea. He spiked the punch at his party and didn't tell anyone!" he shot back. "And I'm not the one who got drunk at her parent's Christmas party and shouted obscenities off of her balcony to all of Manhattan!"

Addison looked outraged. "Derek!" she cried.

"You started it!" he shot back.

"Did anyone shout back?" Meredith wondered, facing Addison. "There're a lot of people there."

Addison shrugged. "I don't remember. I think maybe a few people did."

They were all quiet for a couple minutes.

"Do you remember the wheelchair race the four of us had close to the end of our internship?" Derek asked.

"The one where we got caught by Ellis Grey who was there to perform surgery on some mayor or someone?" Addison asked back. "I remember 'cause she banned us from the gallery because of it."

Meredith started laughing really hard, trying to talk at the same time, "That...that was...you guys?"

"You were there?" Derek asked. "In New York?"

"It was the only time I went with my mother when she was asked to be a guest surgeon. I really wanted to go to New York so I promised to stay out of the way. I was about 17 and that race and her ranting about it for the rest of the day was probably the best part of the trip," Meredith explained.

"Oh, so the hots for McDreamy go back to your teenage years, now, don't they?" Cristina asked.

"Shut up, Cristina. I didn't even know who the hell he was," Meredith said. "All I did was laugh my ass off at he four doctors chasing each other down the hallway in wheelchairs. Oh, and my mother's nonstop complaining about them was quite the show, too."

Addison laughed. "Yeah, I remember that she absolutely hated us and wouldn't let us do anything surgical for the rest of the day. We were stuck doing sutures in the pit after she yelled at us for like an hour."

Derek laughed along with her. "God, Mer, that woman can yell! How did you handle it?"

Meredith looked up at him. "Tequila."

"Ah," he nodded.

"So who won the race?" George asked.

"By the time they reached my mother, Derek was in the lead," she replied, adding, "I think," hoping no one said anything about her certainty.

"That was a close race," Addison recalled. "Derek and Mark were close and Jason was right behind them."

"How did you know it was Derek?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah Mer," George said. "That was ten years ago."

Cristina grinned. "Oh my god, Mer. You really did have the hots for McDreamy!"

"Shut up!" Meredith demanded with a small, embarrassed smile, "Fine! But I was 17 and he was hot and I was watching the hot doctor. Ok?!"

"Did you know it was McDreamy when you met him in the bar?" Izzie giggled.

Meredith shook her head.

"How sure are you about that?" Cristina asked.

"I'm pretty sure, thank you," Meredith replied.

"You hesitated! She hesitated!" Cristina said.

Derek looked over at her. "You knew it was me, didn't you? That's why you were trying to ignore me, wasn't it?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I don't know. Maybe? Maybe I thought you might have been someone I'd seen before, but I couldn't place you."

"Then you must have recognized me," Addison said. "And Mark, too."

Meredith shook her head again, "No, I didn't recognize you or Mark ."

"Haha! It's because you weren't the hot doctor she was staring at!" Cristina laughed.

Meredith stretched out her legs, "Oh, I thought this was Derek and Addison sharing stories! Ok! I was watching Derek and the race, but mostly Derek, but I wasn't supposed to be out there. So, as soon as I saw my mother and she caught them racing, I ran back to the locker room so I wouldn't get in trouble."

"Get in trouble for not being in the way?" George asked.

"My mother was weird about things. She didn't want a kid. Can we talk about something else now?"

"Yes! Let's, 'cause now this conversation is dreadfully boring," Cristina quipped.

"I have something new to share," George said.

"What?" everyone asked.

"I have to pee," he said.

"Not going to happen, Bambi," Cristina said.

"Crap."

Everyone was quiet and then Mark started snoring. Addison kicked his leg and jolted awake causing everyone to laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked, stretching a little.

"Nothing," Addison chuckled. _It's just that you've been asleep for quite possibly the most hilarious conversations the staff of this hospital has ever had together._

Just then the elevator started moving again and the doors opened on the next floor.

"Finally!" George exclaimed and he ran out to the bathroom.

"I could really use a tampon fairy right now," Meredith said as the girls all headed to the bathroom.

Addison, Callie, Cristina, Meredith, and Izzie each went into their stalls, relieving themselves like there was no tomorrow.

"Shit. I'm out of tampons. Who has any?" Meredith said.

"I do!" Callie, Addison, Izzie, and Cristina each said.

"Okay, who said that?" Meredith questioned.

"Me!" they all said.

"Oh, God. This is how I'm going to die, isn't it?" Meredith questioned.

"It might just be," Cristina agreed before tossing her a tampon.

"You know, I had a lot of fun today. We should all get something to eat together tonight," Addison suggested while they were all washing their hands. The others agreed and they finally got back to work.

_----One Month Later----_

Derek was sitting in the kitchen reading the paper and eating his Muesli when he heard Izzie shout from upstairs.

"Derek!!! We need tampons!!!"


End file.
